你能帮什么忙??

While grappling with the concerns listed above is normal and to be 预期, it can be painful to watch your son or daughter struggle. Here are some suggestions to consider as you respond to these situations:

Offer support while encouraging responsibility.

As a parent, it can be difficult to know when to help, when to step back, and/or how 担心. Usually a parent's best guideline is to provide a steady, supportive home base while recognizing that there will be ups and downs in students' needs and 预期. Try to follow the leads of the students and encourage them to work through a problem with you acting as the coach or cheerleader. 帮助他们平衡他们的想法 and emotions to make their best decisions. Let them know that you respect their right to make a decision and that you will serve as an advisor when asked. 提醒自己 to notice and appreciate the new skills they develop; students often want their families to recognize their progress toward becoming adults.

It can be tempting to respond to your son's or daughter's confusion and distress by stepping in and taking charge of the situation, directing it to the resolution 你感觉最好. While this may seem like the quickest way to alleviate your student's discomfort, it prevents them from having an opportunity to realize and expand their own ability to confront difficult situations and bring about workable solutions. It is important that your child continue to feel your ongoing support and "safety net" as they transition into adulthood, while also taking an appropriate and increasing level of responsibility for working things through for themselves. 他们的解决方案 will be their own, and the process of arriving at that point can be as important as 结果本身.

Most parents have a high investment in their student's decisions. 出现问题时, however, when parents are more invested than students. It can be hard to lessen involvement in a student's decisions out of fear that the student won't assume responsibility. The irony is that students often don't step up to the task of being responsible until 父母退居二线. After all, it's easier to ignore problems when someone else is 为他们担心!

 

是现实的.

College can be bumpy in the same way that life is bumpy. 毫无疑问会有 times when your son or daughter will stumble, whether academically or socially. 他们 might not get the grade they'd hoped for on an exam, or their relationship with their roommate might not be as easy or as close as they had hoped. 保持这种联系 with a boyfriend or girlfriend at home might prove to be more difficult than they'd 预期. Whatever the scenario, it can be helpful to convey to your student that, realistically, there will be disappointments and struggles during their transition to college and during their time here, but that they can get through it and that there 如果需要的话，有资源可以提供帮助吗.

It can also be helpful to remind yourself that your son or daughter will encounter challenges—that things won't always go the way you or they would hope or that resolving a problem may take some time—but, again, these situations are generally surmountable, 而且随时都能得到帮助. Also, be realistic and specific with your child about financial issues including what you will and will not pay for, as well as your 预期 for how your son or daughter will spend money. It is also important to be realistic about your child's academic performance, recognizing that not every straight-A student in high school will be a straight-A student in college. 帮助你的孩子准备 their academic goals; encourage them to do their best and to seek assistance if needed.

 

平衡接触与空间.

With cell phones, instant messaging and e-mail, it is easier for families to be in close contact with each other than ever before. 这样的接触可以提供情感 help and support during times of transition and crisis, but it is also important to recognize that your daughter or son needs to establish him- or herself at Skidmore and find ways to feel fully at home and comfortable here on campus. 发展的一部分 challenge of the next four years for students will be to navigate multiple geographic moves—from home to campus to study abroad to internships and back again. 这些举措 provide practice for the bigger challenge ahead: graduation and finding their way 在“现实世界”中." Balancing staying in touch with your son or daughter with allowing them the space to make their own choices and mistakes is an important piece in helping 你的孩子在大学取得了成功.

Attempt regular communication, but don't be concerned if your student isn't always 响应. Let your student set the agenda for some of your conversations and ask 广义的问题. All in all, the less you ask, the more they are likely to tell. Unfortunately, students often only feel an urge to communicate when they are in distress, so you may hear about all of the disappointments without ever hearing about the triumphs 在他们的生活中. Try not to worry too much about the occasional emotional phone call 或者给家里发邮件. Be patient with that "nothing-is-going-right-I-hate-this-place" communication. You are providing a real service as an advisor, sounding board and sympathetic ear.

 

显示资源.

There are numerous people and offices on campus that are available to help your son or daughter navigate their time here. Faculty advisors, 住宅生活 staff members, the Office of Student Academic 支持 Services, the Director of the 第一年的经验, Campus Safety, 卫生服务, and the 咨询中心 are just a few of the many resources that might be able to lend a hand. Take some time to look at the various office Web pages and to review the Student Handbook to familiarize yourself with what's available, so that you can offer suggestions when your child needs some assistance. If you have questions you want to ask directly, or if a particular problem arises, call the appropriate person, but make sure to involve your child in a collaborative 努力解决问题.

How Can I Tell If My Student Is in Serious Distress?

Many of the problems students face are relatively temporary and students recover fairly 很快. However, if the intensity or persistence of the problems makes it hard for your student to function effectively for longer than a few weeks (e.g.，学生 is not acting like her/his "normal self," grades are declining, withdrawal from family and friends), or if your student is experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, it is advisable to encourage your student to come to the 咨询中心 right away. We recommend that you allow your son or daughter to take the initiative in accessing 我们的服务. Part of the therapeutic process involves him/her taking responsibility for his/her well-being by taking the initiative to schedule an appointment. 访问 services your student can stop by the 咨询中心, located on the first floor of Jonsson Tower, or call (518) 580-5555 to schedule an appointment.

Services Provided by the 全球官网电子游戏大学 咨询中心

The 咨询中心 provides free, confidential services for Skidmore students, including short-term individual and group counseling, emergency psychological services, 以及拓展项目.

The 咨询中心 also provides consultations to parents who are concerned about 他们的学生. Such consultations can focus on a range of issues, including how to assist a student experiencing a difficult situation, how to refer a student to the Center, or how to locate appropriate mental health treatment for student. 为了保证 a consultation, call the 咨询中心 at (518) 580-5555 and ask to speak with 咨询师.

Student Confidentiality and 父母

Confidentiality is an essential part of the counseling relationship we establish with students, and the 咨询中心 staff adheres to ethical and legal standards regarding 保密. These standards and laws prevent us from speaking with concerned parents about their student's contact with the Center unless we have the student's 书面许可. Thus, unless your student gives us 书面许可, we cannot acknowledge whether your student has been seen at the Center, is attending therapy or medication consultation sessions or anything about the content of what your student 可以和我们分享一下吗?. The only exceptions to this legally and ethically mandated 保密 occur when a student is under 18 years of age or if there is a serious concern about a student's imminent safety or the safety of others.

请联系鸟叔Andrew Demaree.D., Director of the 咨询中心, if you have any questions about our 保密 standards.